The Power of Great Relationships

If you’re anything like me, you’re ready for a practical approach you can take to develop your own emotional intelligence right now! That said, I’ve rarely seen anyone be willing to add yet another thing to their to-do list without having some solid justification for it. So with that in mind, let’s look at a few things you’ve almost certainly had to deal with at one level or another before I even start challenging you to take on one more thing.

Have you worked for someone who would sometimes blow a gasket and no one around really understood what led to it? Maybe it was something they were dealing with at home; maybe it was something they had just been told through an email or phone call; maybe several things had happened prior to that moment and whatever we said or did just happened to be that final straw that broke the camel's back… If you’ve NEVER experienced that, I want to know where you work! For those of us who are able to picture an exact scenario this reminds us of, it really boils down to whether this was something that rarely happened and our boss was great to deal with the majority of the time or that poor camel’s back was broken on a regular basis… The more frequent this kind of scenario occurs, the more likely it is that we were looking for a better environment to be part of!

As you’re picturing that boss’s face, let me ask you one more thing: would anyone on your team picture you? In complete transparency, Cindy can certainly point to more than a few times over the last 23 years where I’ve been the gasket blower… But understanding what causes it to happen and taking steps to prevent it from getting to that point - at least the majority of the time - can make all the difference in building great relationships, be those personal or professional.

In chapter 16 of Leadership Gold, John Maxwell shares that “some sources estimate that as many as 65% of people leaving companies do so because of their managers.” In the majority of these situations, it really goes back to how their immediate supervisor or manager treats them. If you or I were the subject of the gasket blowing on a routine basis, or even watched it happen to others around us, how long would we stick around? For me, that answer is not very long! I’d guess you’re in a similar boat…

Early in Emotional Intelligence 2.0, Travis Bradberry says that “Only 36% of the people we tested are able to accurately identify their emotions as they happen.” When two-thirds of everyone we deal with on a daily basis probably aren’t able to identify their emotions in real time, what are the odds of them being able to keep those emotions in check?

If that’s our supervisor or manager, this can create a rough environment to work in. If that’s us, maybe we’re the ones creating that rough environment! Regardless of who’s at fault, those working relationships likely leave a lot to be desired. But as we’re able to recognize our emotions, as well as what triggers them, we can keep ourselves in check and build stronger working relationships - and that almost always leads to better performance and lower turnover.

Before we start working through a few simple tools that can help increase our emotional intelligence right away, let’s look at one more reason I believe it’s incredibly important to invest the time and energy into developing this...

The Power of Collaboration

By now, we should have a reasonable foundation for why it’s important for someone in a leadership role to develop emotional intelligence... Whether that’s us in the role or it’s the leader we report to, not understanding what causes those highest emotional moments can drive quite the wedge between folks who generally get along well otherwise. But why is emotional intelligence important for everyone - regardless of the level of leadership responsibility they hold?

I frequently reference a study done by Salesforce.com that showed “86% of the executives they surveyed cited lack of collaboration and ineffective communication as the primary reason for workplace failure.” We often hear the term “individual contributor” with regards to someone who isn’t in a leadership role, but how often do we really see someone who truly works alone without any interaction with other people? I can’t think of a single example!

If that Salesforce study is even close to accurate, lack of collaboration is a big stinking deal. And I can’t help but think that “only 36% of people who were tested being able to accurately identify their emotions as they happened” plays a significant part in this!

Picture any work environment you want… Have you seen scenarios where people are at odds with one another for some reason they may not even remember and they take intentional steps to make things even more difficult for each other? How does that impact overall productivity, theirs as well as the entire organization’s? And is it reasonable to think that mess spills over into the rest of the team around them, or even the customers and clients they’re supposed to be serving? Of course! This lack of collaboration leaves a negative mark on all of those things!

Not so long ago, I read an article from the American Management Association citing research done by the Stanford Research Institute International and the Carnegie Melon Foundation showing that “75% of long-term job success depends on people skills, while only 25% on technical knowledge.” I don’t care how amazing someone is in a technical role, they won’t reach their potential anywhere they go without harnessing the power of collaboration!

UPDATE

Here's a link to the second installment in this three part series, looking at The Components of Emotional Intelligence.