Show’em Who’s Boss!?

I closed last time by promising to share some things that just about anyone can apply to earn genuine influence and lead the team they supervise or manage more effectively. While that may seem like a pretty lofty promise, I really believe it’s much simpler than it’s usually made out to be…

Just to make sure we’re on the same page though, let’s start with a few examples…

You recently finished up some classes in your off time while working your full time role. You apply for and are offered a position managing the department that you’ve been a part of for the last several years. You’ve always gotten along well with everyone you worked with but they’ve never had to follow your instructions. But starting next Monday, you’re going to need to establish some boundaries and make sure they respect you in this new position. The work environment has always been fairly relaxed but you know productivity could be better if there was less talking and more working. This is your chance to show your boss they made the right decision AND prove to everyone who had previously been your peer that you’re in charge now… Anyone who’s caught slacking off will get one warning, but the hammer is coming down after that!

Or…

You’ve been with your company for years and finally get a promotion. You have a lot of long term friendships with the people you work with but now you’ll be their direct boss. You’ve been on family vacations with a few of them. Your kids play sports with some of their kids. Maybe you even hang out with a couple of them outside of work. A few days into your new role, you notice a few of them have wandered off from where they should be and don’t come back for close to an hour. It’s not break time or lunch time; what’s that all about? Are they trying to take advantage of the friendship and get away with something they would have never tried with the old boss? Since you’ve been friends for so long, you give them the benefit of the doubt and let it slide. It happens again a few days later, and then again… Gosh, calling them out on it could hurt the relationship. Maybe it’s best to just let it go, especially if they’re still getting the bulk of their work done?

Supervisors, managers, and business owners typically carry a ton of responsibility for getting results. I’ve seen scenarios just like the ones I just shared, as well as a whole bunch of others, play out when someone accepts responsibility for the results of the team around them. It can be incredibly difficult to handle those situations when we’re close with the people involved. It’s almost always far easier to get it wrong than it is to get it right! And our concern about damaging the relationship just adds to the pressure.

But does it have to? I don’t believe it does! I believe real influence - and leadership - is earned by folks in positions of authority when they’re willing to address difficult situations like the ones in those examples. I really believe the key lies in addressing the issue without belittling the individual - but we HAVE to address the issue!

If we don’t address it at all, we lose respect from everyone seeing it go on. If we put it off too long then blow a gasket, we’ll likely damage the relationship AND lose respect from everyone watching. But having the self discipline to set and maintain proper expectations, then hold our team accountable to them moving forward, goes a long way toward earning influence and it should strengthen a genuine relationship.

How about when we’re in a management role and we don’t have long standing relationships with the people on our team? How can we earn influence and leadership with them? We’ll look at that next time...