Defining Moments Show Us Who We Are

In Maxwell’s book, Leadership Gold, John reminds us that most days are similar to others and don’t really stand out in a big way. But there are some days that are unlike all the others.  These days, we find opportunities to take a stand when everyone is sitting or follow the crowd and hope things pass. These moments for better or for worse, define us.  They show us what we are really made of. 

These are the days that bring with it opportunity to seize the moment, stand up for something or someone, or to remain.

A defining moment is a challenge or crisis that demonstrates the leadership capacity that lies within a person.  You could think of these as leadership moments - moments where no matter how we respond, our true values are brought to the surface for all to see.  The preparation we have done prior to this defining moment will be apparent - whether we like the outcome or wish we would have chosen differently. 

I like the way Maxwell puts it, The choices we make in critical moments help to form us and to inform others about who we are.

As my (Cindy) Dad got older, he loved telling stories of his Army days and they usually included some pretty specific defining moments.  He was enlisted during peacetime, was Army Airborne and stationed mostly on Okinawa where they did a lot of their training.

One evening his platoon was ordered to an uninhabited island for survival training.  They were exhausted after setting up but then were called into training!  Their hopes of some sleep were crushed but they knew the drill, were given orders, and grabbed their gear. 

The next few days and nights they spent in the jungle with little food and water, and exhausting heat.  And they weren’t allowed to go near the beach which would have been incredibly refreshing!

Finally, survival training was completed and they arrived back at their barracks.  They had what was a really great tasting dinner and were ready to sleep and recover. Then whistles started blowing and they were called to line up again. 

He felt sick knowing they were being sent back out in the jungle. Then a sergeant started tossing out life rafts and they were ordered to the beach to cool down and enjoy the water for 2 hours! It was the most refreshing thing they could have done for them and was the recharge they needed to keep going. Just one stipulation, there was a rock pillar jutting out of the water as you looked into the ocean and they were ordered to not go past the rock.

Dad and some of his buddies were just happy to be in the water but others were pushing the limits and going around the rock. They came closer to shore a few times to gain followers yet they were the only two going out that far. Not thinking any more of it, he and his buddies had a great time then everyone headed back and slept.

They had been asleep a few hours and awoke to alarms blaring and calls to line up.  What they found was that two of their people were missing and it was the same two going around the rock. 

After searching the island they found one of the missing friends severely dehydrated, burned, and having swallowed ocean water. Unfortunately, he reported seeing his missing buddy having been swept out to sea.  Everyone was devastated. Nearly a day later, they got word their buddy swept out to sea had been rescued alive!!  He was eventually okay and was also in a bunch of trouble!

As Dad was winding down his story, he shared that the most amazing thing about this experience is that before being swept out to sea his buddy knew about Jesus and God but didn't believe in them.  While he was lost at sea he felt God close to him and accepted Jesus as his Savior and spent the rest of his life sharing his experience and Jesus with others.

This army buddy in a defining moment by making a horrible mistake and was swept out to sea.  Yet, he used that mistake to create another defining moment and thankfully was then rescued and shared his story with others.

This tells us when we don’t meet the mark and know we must become a better version of ourselves, we can get to work creating change in ourselves for the better.  It’s true defining moments define who you are at that point in time.  But we can always grow and become a better version of ourselves.