It’s Not About Me (Or You)!

It's Not About Me (Or You)!In the last message, I touched on how critical Connecting is to establishing influence, whether you’re a leader or not. One of the first things our friend and trainer, Chris, shared with us as we were studying the Selling With Style module of the Personality Insights curriculum was the “Golden Rule of Sales.” Now before you tune this out because you’re “not in a sales role,” I challenge you to consider whether you’ve ever interviewed for a job or asked someone on a date… Since I already know the answer, I’ll continue…

I remember hearing from a very young age to “Do unto others as I would have them do unto me.” My intent here is in no way to challenge this, but to share an idea that ties directly to chapter 2 of Everyone Communicates, Few Connect, Connecting Is All About Others. Just before he discusses the topic of immaturity (I won’t get started on that topic in this message), John shares that connecting “is all about the person with whom we’re communicating.” He goes on to say that “if you want to connect with others, you have to get over yourself.”

While I understand the intent behind what we know as the Golden Rule, to treat others in a way I would want to be treated, John’s thoughts on connecting shines a different light on what we should consider first! Let’s look at it like this: I have a very Driven personality style. I live for results. So much so in fact, I don’t always care to pay attention to many of the details… (You’ll see evidence of this if you examine the grammar in just about any message I ever put together!) Only about 10% of the world shares this basic personality style with me – feel free to pause from reading here to thank God for this! As I’ve studied The DISC Model of Human Behavior, I realize that if I were to treat everyone as I would want them to treat me, getting straight to the point with little fluff, I’m very likely to alienate (and at times terrify) as much as 90% of the people I interact with…

What my friend Chris shared about the Golden Rule of Sales, treat others as THEY would have you treat them, tied directly to John’s message in this chapter. If I go straight to talking about how we need to attack the task at hand, nearly two-thirds of the world will feel a bit put off since I didn’t address them personally first. Another 25% of folks will immediately begin asking me very detailed questions that I have likely skipped thinking through to get to the end result. But what would happen if I took the time to identify what THEY needed from the interaction, and tailored my message to that?

What key interactions will you have tomorrow that could be more effective if you treated the person you’ll be dealing with as THEY want to be treated rather than how YOU would want to be treated? As John says, Connecting is ALL about others!